HATCAT: History According to Calum and Tony

The History of Poetry - by Me

2005-03-09T16:36:00.000+13:00

Poetry, pronounced with a definite ‘T’ sound, comes from a French word poetry, meaning Po and Ry.

What is Po and Ry? I hear you think. Actually the question is where is Po and Ry!

Po and Ry (pronounced ‘poe’ and ‘ree’) were two majestic medieval kingdoms in France. Back then you had royal storytellers, far greater than todays John Grisham’s!

However, the storytellers from Po and Ry were rather pathetic at telling stories, think along the lines of Sam Hunt.

One day the Royal Storytellers from Po and Ry were asked to create a new story. A story so good that no one would ever hear another story as good – ever.

The majestic storytellers knew that if they failed they would surely be killed. So they decided to put their heads together and come up with a revolutionary type of story.

And what they came up with was none other than Poetry!

When the Kings heard this poetry they were furious. What utter drivel!!! The Kings banished their storytellers from their respective kingdoms for eternity. The storytellers were left all alone, with no way of getting food or shelter. It was then that they decided to travel from town to town, province to province, country to country, trying to teach people their new story telling method.

Unfortunately (for them that is – not us), no one liked their new stories. Every town they went to kicked them out. Thankfully the two ex-Royal storytellers soon lost their lives. The last country they visited was a small island off the cost of Africa that was inhabited by carnivorous midgets. The small island dwellers were enraged so much by the horrible poetry that the two storytellers were roasted alive on a spit and devoured by the midgets.

Two things happened. The first being the total and utter destruction of the kingdoms of Po and Ry. Each kingdom blamed the other for the creation of poetry until the argument was ended when both kingdoms were completely wiped out in a bloody battle. To this day no one has heard of the two kingdoms, Po and Ry, except me and that’s why I’m telling you. The second thing that happened was the death of an entire island of carnivorous midgets. The two storytellers gave the midgets such a bad stomach ache that they killed themselves to end the pain.

Sadly though, the storytellers from Po and Ry achieved something. English teachers across the globe, realising they were good for nothing else, started to continue the teaching of poetry to poor souls. And that is why, to this day, we learn poetry.

New site

2005-02-27T16:51:00.000+13:00

Today the Pool of Knowledge blog has been launched. This site is a proper informational blog. Sorry to those that came here looking for information on Trotsky or Gapon and only found made up stuff. Eventually the Pool of Knowledge will be filled with educational news and information.

Enter here: Pool of Knowledge

Nifty countdown

2005-02-05T13:58:00.000+13:00

For all those playing at home that are interested when D-Day is going to occur, I have added a little countdown timer to the bottom of the page. In this case, D-Day refers to the next bunch of NCEA exams.

Back to schooool, back to schooool, to prove to my Dad that I'm not a fool. Oooooo, back to schooool!

2005-01-31T20:45:00.000+13:00

Today was the first day back at school. Which means a new year of history. Which means more posts on this blog.

Where Lexus' come from

2005-01-18T22:44:00.000+13:00

While I was on holiday I had a nosey around a market. One of the stalls I looked through was one that had a large sign with 'Tibet' written on it. Inside, as you would expect, were all sorts of things from Tibet. There was one part that confused me however. On one of the tables was a cardboard box, and in that box were keyrings. Now, these weren't just any keyrings - these keyrings had the Lexus logo on some, and the American flag on the other. These keyrings seemed to be the only things out of place. It then dawned on me, that these keyrings must have been put there for a reason. The stall keeper must have been trying to tell someone, anyone, who could put two and two together, that secretly Tibet is actually the US in disguise, and that is where Lexus make all their cars. That surely, must be the answer - mustn't it?!

2005-01-12T21:58:00.000+13:00

I'm on holiday now so don't drown in the pool of knowledge. On a parting note, if you search for father gapon on MSN or Yahoo search, HATCAT will come up. Same for Google with Trotsky. Now people will know the truth.

New teaching methods

2005-01-12T21:19:00.000+13:00

One particularly boring day in history, the class were quite annoying. Mainly, it was 'cat' at the back of the room. Calum was asking some really annoying questions and being rather difficult. The teacher (yes, her) was trying to write something on the white board, which is surprising, usually it's just photocopied stuff. All of a sudden, she spun around, grabbed a dictionary, and threw it at Calum! Perhaps she was fed up with him and wanted to hurt him, but I believe it was a new teaching method that she was trying out. Maybe by physically throwing a book at someone, knowledge will be learnt when contact is made? Too bad she grabbed a dictionary, too bad she didn't grab a history book, and too bad she missed. Although, I must admit, the floor did look more intelligent from that day on.

Is this working?

2005-01-10T01:03:00.000+13:00

Okaaaay.I just checked this on another PC and it doesn't seem to be updating. Grrr!

Hello out there...

2005-01-09T19:45:00.000+13:00

Wow - I feel special. A whole 63 people have viewed my site! That's 63 more than I thought would! Apparently 52% of the people that have visited this humble page are from time zone UTC-05:00 wherever that is. I think that means that they're either from Central America, or the eastern parts of the US and Canada. Can you do me a favour? If you're viewing my site can you please check to see if the buttons down the side of my blog work? The last time I viewed this site using IE, the top three didn't work and only the blogger one did. If they don't work, can you let me know?

Stop picking

2005-01-09T19:29:00.000+13:00

It seems that throughout history the United States has been picked on. "Picked on?!" I hear you think. Yep, picked on. The US is in such a position that whatever they do someone complains. If they don't help, if they do help, if they don't retaliate, if they do. There is always some annoying group or organisation that has something to say.
I heard on the radio some guy saying that the US is only helping the tsunami struck areas to improve their image within the region and amongst the eyes of terrorists. And so what if they are?! They're helping aren't they? I say we leave them alone, let them get on with what they're doing and stop criticisng every thing the US does. After all, if it weren't for American's we'd all be under the control of the little cockroach that lives in Kim Jong Il's head. :-) That movie was so funny!

Father Gapon was Trotsky in disguise

2005-01-07T17:13:00.000+13:00

In Russia, on 22nd January 1905, Father Gapon (pictured left) led a large group of peaceful demonstrators to the Winter Palace to protest against the Tsar and to try and get some civil liberties, etc. For some reason the imperial guards had to open fire and ended up killing a hundred people. Now, Father Gapon led this group but he wasn't amongst the dead. We believe that Father Gapon was actually Trotsky in disguise, and this was just propaganda to further the cause of the Bolsheviks. All it would take is a beard, a wig, and a ridiculously large hat.

I feel special!

2005-01-05T16:50:00.000+13:00

Ok, I decided not to steal people's code but I have been looking at it and figuring out some basic HTML. As you can see (well, not really, because at this point noone is reading this yet) I have added a fancy Firefox advertisement, and some links to history websites. Yay!

Changes

2005-01-04T14:49:00.000+13:00

I look at all these other blogs and see how cool they look but I have no idea how to do all that stuff. So I think I might 'borrow' ideas and code from other people and combine them to make my own blog. Sounds good? I think so!